Kafka?

“Sir. Please stop raising your voice.”

‘mam. I am not raising my voice. You are on speaker. Perhaps my voice is coming off loudly?’

“Sir. You are currently at 30 Decibals. By our manuals, and your age group, and height, you are in fact raising your voice.”

‘Okay I will whisper is that better?’

“You are now at 21 Decibals. That should do.”

‘Mam. I am trying to find the last 5 addresses I lived in. It seems impossible as two of them were 12 years ago.’

“Now you are definitely raising your voice.”

*whispers ‘Is that better?’

“Yes good again. Well sir you need to find your addresses to unlock this screen that is in front of me. There is no other way to unlock this screen.”

‘Have you tried throwing it against a wall?’

“That type of language will not be tolderated.”

‘Yes Mam. I was joking. It seems like we’re in a conundrum. You wish for me to pay you for what I owe. My banks are locked. I cannot live. All my money is frozen. I am trying to pay you. You will not take my money. What should I do?’

“Tell us your last 5 addressess.”

‘MAM. THIS IS NOT HELPFUL’

**beep **beep

Press 1 to throw yourself off a bridge. Press 2 to use a gun loaded. Press 3 for firing range. Press 4 to find your last 5 addresses and skip such unseemly actions. Press 5 to find line 35000 on your most recent tax return.