The Funniest Shit

Years ago, I was sitting in a room,

Carpets on the Floor,

White Couches,

Fireplace,

By the beach…

Multi Million Dollar Home,

Next door was the douchebag Aston Martin salesman that I’d met playing Tennis once.

I knew exactly what he wanted,

she told me: ‘my neighbours looking to buy the next door house… he’s just renting’

So that was this ass-wipes’ goal in life. To buy the little house with the small plot of land.

But not just ANY land. THE land. Right by the Beach baby.

I couldn’t give two shits.

Anyways so we hear this dog barking next door. Again and again.

The sweet sound of a Being in Love.

She beamed. “You hear that dog!?”

Ya so cute. Is she okay? - i answered.

“Shes a rescue!” “From India!” “Isn’t that Wooonderful?”

I thought about it a sec. I mean sure! I answered. Not any more wonderful that wonderful. Not wooonderful. Just wonderful.

“No. no you don’t understand. That dog. Somehow. Changed her Entire situation. Went all the way from India to here. That’s a traveling dog! Able to change the Universe.”

Come to think of it. Damn. That is wooonderful. An enlightened Dog. Zen.

But seriously, your neighbor wants to buy the house next door?

“Ya”

Fuck that guy.